Harvestella

What’s up party people in the place to be?!

It’s ya’boi, Dan the Man, coming at’cha again with anothe blog entry to grace your beautiful face.

The holiday season is upon us and for at least 5 out of 7 days I’ll be spending some of my time in a warmer climate.

I guess with the end of the year, and likely my last blog entry until next year it’d be a good time to reflect, no?

Well, I’d been struggling with my mental health this year since all the way back in June, believe it or not, but by the grace of God or sheer force of will I managed not to send myself to a hospital this time around.

In reflecting on that, I’m thankful, for one, and also realizing that I’ve come a long way since I was first diagnosed in 2011.

Be that as it may, I hope to not have any symptoms all of next year, if possible, lmao.

Peace, Beasts and Chicken Grease, and have a Happy New Year!

THE ZINE FEST WAS A SUCCESS!!!

WHHOOOO!!!!!!

Had to take a day to come down from being around all those DOPE PEOPLE but the Zine fest ROCKED! Rene and I had 30 copies to sell and we sold 24!!!!

If you missed the Zine Fest stay tuned to see us again in November at the Boston Art Book Fair, and like the Zine Fest, I’ll post details here again.

But the fest was great, TONS of Queer representation which I honestly did not expect but it’s not like I was uncomfortable or anything. Everyone was very friendly, and that’s what matters if you ask me.

I had planned on doing a longer blog but this is it for now!

Thank you to everyone for all the support! It means MORE THAN YOU KNOW TO ME AND DONGO!!!

SWEAT! STRIVE!!! GIVE IT YOUR ALL!!!

I’m gonna start, making T-shirt’s or something, I need to do something else to relieve myself of my emotional burden.

Yes, of course, I am/will consider therapy.

But beyond that:

What’s up party people in the place to be!?

IT’S YA BOI, Coming at’cha HOT AND FRESH with a cool new tidbit/update:

First and Foremost I’m joining the ONE AND ONLY Rene Dongo at the

Water Town Zine Fest!

Saturday, October 15th 2022

Where: Watertown Free Public Library

123 Main Street

Watertown, MA 02472

So Be there or be Square!

We’ll be presenting a Zine we made that is a collection of letters and art we sent back and forth to each other during the start of the pandemic. It’s called “Monster Mail” and it’ll be on sale for $10

Support Local Art!

Anyway, that’s the gist of it, the rest is blah blah ex gf blah blah losing my mind blah blah work is good and I wish I was working harder in school but it just started,

You get it,

SEE YOU IN WATERTOWN!

The Struggle is Real

Here’s a little story that must be told.

I want to be up-front and honest with anyone reading this or whomever may read this:

I struggle with schizo-affective disorder, which I discovered after smoking marijuana.

I’ve been on medication for a number of years now, which has helped, and I can hold down a job, but as of right now it doesn’t feel like it’s helping, at all.

This is really in regards to my ex, whom I sent incessant e-mails too when I was worse, and was subsequently arrested for harassing at one point in 2018.

I’m not proud of it, but I’ve begun reaching out to her, again, and I was in greater control of it, but I have this very, URGENCY, like I need my psychosis to be addressed and it has to be from her.

It’s sucks to know and I know it sucks.

I’m looking into therapy as soon as I can afford it, and I’ve talked to friends and family about it, my heart is with her and so is my head, but my head in a bad way.

I can’t seem to make amends either, it’s as if I just scream into the void that is her inbox, but I’m trying my hardest to stop, and this blog post I’m writing and publishing I hope will hold me accountable.

To anyone else reading this, feel free to call me out if I seem a little off, as well.

Seriously.

P*A*I*N

Trying not to update this blog as late as I did in August, but suffice to say I’m in a lot of ✨P A I N✨ right now.

Physically and emotionally, and the source of my pain might be the same.

Long story short I suffer from hallucinations every so often and my doctor once said they could be the cause of my headaches.

Emotionally: these hallucinations bring up a ex I was with once in my life, and they tell me how much she hates me and she’s suicidal etc etc.

I still have feelings for her, I know I do but I have to try to numb myself, given the circumstances.

It makes it hard to move on as well, try to find someone new, when it’s quite literally a 24/7 reminder.

I am taking medications, all is not lost, but I wish there was a cure.

Talking Points

I’ve been really active on Twitter, but Twitter isn’t the best place for ideas or conversation points greater than a single paragraph.

I’m just going to write some things down here, that I’ve been thinking about and putting on Twitter, and maybe I’ll revisit these topics in the future:

The European Slave Trade: If what North Africans and “Western Asian” people did to Europeans so long ago is a fact of reality, and trauma can be passed on from generation to generation, I feel like it makes sense for the “anti-black” culture we see today in the world. This doesn’t excuse racism, we should be treating everyone with love and respect, ideally, however, if a European guy saw a Moor slaughter his entire village and turn his wife into a concubine, and then forced him to have kids, and somehow, those same feelings can be passed down through their genes, like it’s “instincts” to avoid this person, does it correlate that white people of today, react the same way towards the black people of today?

This is getting messy.

But if they respond like this, and then inflict that same trauma on the black people of today, in the event that black people rise out of the vice grip of the dominant people, and “history repeats itself” doesn’t it seem like this is just a cycle of revenge?

A Tradition of Trauma?

We did this to them, it affects them to a point that they do it to us, we rise up, only to do it back again, to them?

I know it’s hard to imagine but, the cycle must be broken.

From how I see it, all races/nationalities/ethnic groups are fractured in the current political climate, be it language barriers, skin tone or even how they cook.

What a time to be alive.

That’s all.

I’m back

OMFG, HI, TO ANYONE WHO READS THIS, HOW ARE YOU!?

ME!? ME?!?!!? I’ve literally just been Playing Loop Hero for DAYS ON END now and I beat the Game and one of the Secret Bosses yesterday and today.

Anyway, I’m back from that high and headache, romanticizing e-girls while dreading the fact that it is almost certain that next month I will begin working mother fucking 64 hour work weeks.

The Good News? I create a tentative schedule so I can work and still participate in my online classes for my associates degree.

The Bad News?

I’M WORKING 64 HOURS A FUCKING WEEK!!!!!!

There’s A LOT I could go into about it but, just pray for me.

I’m going to start up another game, or at least try to finish it but not as AGGRESSIVELY as I played Loop Hero. Man just typing the title makes me want to go back and play… Jesus. Really, what I’m thinking of trying to do is beat another Secret Boss and get the last few dialogue trees of the Final Boss, but it’s honestly not too important, just something I could jump into when I’m bored…

With all the said, I’ve been setting up my Twitch channel, and trying to think of ways to make this “influencer” life more uh, portable I guess.

More details in the coming months tho, later.