Why did you grab my finger?

At the beach?

To tell someone their penis is that small?

I know I asked if you wanted to get married and now the voices in my head are talking about the whole world laughing at me but so fucking what?!

So I’m a woman?

That’s what the voices say, and you wouldn’t want a “woman” you’d want a “man” because a man is abusive!

again, not my words, words of the voices.

The Scarlet Letter

Had sex with people so they could do your homework for you since you seem to be cursed with “read between the lines” where the space between characters on the page of a book makes you see images

So I fucked yo because-

I told you what I have saved up right now?

Great! So what?!

I’m just candid and honest, it’s not as if I’m going to give it all to you or anything, I was just sharing investment ideas.

I don’t get why I’m being bothered about this now…

Vision of a Happy Marriage

Apparently, if we had stayed together, I’d come home to a bunch of dudes in the house, you in bed.

They’d tell me it’s a gangbang, I’d go first but really, I’d just be getting sloppy seconds.

Some sick joke.

I know I watch pornography but why would I be tortured with this in my mind?

Who doesn’t separate the fantasy from reality?

Who believe porno is real?

Certainly no I.

Hate Fuck

So… you have enough sex until you’re “closed for business” (red engorged and painful vulva)

the. They force their member inside, impregnate you, and then, on the day of conception, abuse your vagina until it’s in the same condition again, and watch you try to birth a child, pain on top of more pain.

am I getting this right?

Another example of what’s flowing through my noggin

Corporal Punishment

Am I supposed to fucking feel bad for the things I can’t control?

you want me to not be able to fucking express myself? The only goddamn thing I fucking have now?

You want to use that against me?!

Go fuck yourself in a bad way.

IDKE

Voices are saying that I don’t know enough about you to be able to date you and I assume see you again.

I’m willing to learn, just not through disembodied voices.

Incest

Voices say your dad fucks you better than me.

They also say your family was never related to one another

that you were all adopted from different countries.

Which is probably another example of why step family porn is still popular.

This has been going on for a while now.

I don’t know what to say or do

and I’ve said this before

but for anyone reading this that wants to know what I’m going through, this is a small sample or some of the deranged thoughts and voices in my head.

Take care of yourself.

Taylor Swift?

Randomly that song that goes

“we are never ever ever getting back together”

Just plays in my head.

I don’t listen to Taylor Swift.

Maybe that one song that literally one time “Shake it Off” but that was it.

Anyway no T. Swift songs are going on the playlist, never ever ever…

They say-

The only thing you’re good at is giving up on things.

Giving up on people

Hobbies

Relationships

You’re only good at giving up.

So they say at least.

Birthday

The next important birthday is my brothers, then AMERICA’S 🇺🇸 🦅 🎆

Yours isn’t for a while, but they say “saying happy birthday” would let you know I’m safe?

Thats definitely not the case. We need a long talk, something, idk not just “HaPpY bIrThDaY” like some weird UNO Reverse card on my psychopathy.

Be safe.

Brain Sludge

Someone said people with my condition might be more likely to develop Alzheimer’s.

I wonder, if that happens to me, if I’ll remember you, or if I’ll die without memories at all.

Sounds better than them plaguing me in the short term but in the long term, very sad.

“You need to have sex with men to get a gf”

So say the voices.

And I’ll say this plainly:

I see you everywhere, even places I don’t want to see you.

I almost uploaded a video to a “reminders” folder, yes a porno, I think I apologized for that but if I didn’t, I apologize, you’re not that kind of person, maybe.

But still, I’m not about to go fuck dudes to get with girls,

And yes you’re right, this is just hallucinations,

But the less I sleep, the louder they get, and now I’m on day fucking TWO of no fucking sleep,

So you do the goddamn math.

I’m not mad at you.