I feel the way I feel

I think the voices are just trying to paint you as such a “broken” woman that can never be loved by anyone but I feel the way I feel

My heart in my head and my head in my heart man, there’s no changing this, it is what it is

Farewell in NY

Your dad in the trench coat

Bent down for fellatio

He was not erect

Chloroform

Tried to save the child but it was already too late

“Sex”

Apparently everyone wants it with you because you tell them “I just had sex”

And I assume they get curious about your sexual ability and then they say you’re “playful” after, whatever that means (I think I know what it means)

Anyway.

Argentina

Voices say that’s where you’re going, have a nice life.

Edit:

Apparently, living in “Argentina” means being “raped” every night until you “get over it” ???

What the actual fuck

FAKEbook

Aaron’s Father, Pastor Bruce Wall, was trying to get all the girls in Aaron Handsomes “cult” or “Nakama” (for some reason the voices are using this word like we’re in One Piece) and try to hook them up with people on Facebook using my name with no profile picture. Presumably, other young men.

MIT Frat Party

Apparently, on that one night after the Frat party when I blacked out, the guys that brought me home not only stole my hoodie and my cellphone but they also say you told them you’d leave me on the sidewalk to die while you went and found someone else to fuck if you were there with me.

I'll use their real names

Voices in my head are telling me I’ve been a stand in, a “fall guy” for not one but two people

Aaron Bruce Wall Junior and another Michael Suliman Fonseca

They’re saying because I was blogging on Xanga as “Authentic_Black_Dragon” that they would read and print my blog out and represent themselves as my profile picture talking over what I can only assume was a Two Way Radio, a CB Radio while manipulating troposconic (troposonic?) conditions and communicating outside of the countries borders, to other countries, essentially.

Anyway, one thing they brought up about my ex, who, according to them, is not herself and doesn’t even identify as her name, is that she would’ve tried to kill me in my sleep and I’m lucky to have escaped that scenario and not have been murdered.

Anyway.

Barely holding it together

Eaten out on the MBTA

that’s the opposite

someone turned all the way up

pride parade when you were here

voices are in the air conditioning

blah blah blah blah blah

I’ve been walking past you, its all you can do

you want me to just reach out and grab you

that’s the idea

I just want someone to be direct with me

What you don't want me to write about

She wouldn’t be who she is

you wouldn’t be who you are

does it even matter?

did that other person, man woman or child get help?

commit suicide?

all this things and more

spare ribs

tooth paste

the list goes on

New York

Can’t see clearly

Voices say every time you try to take an action in regards to me, they turn you up so much so that it blurs your vision, effectively disabling your attempts to do anything.

edit: they say you can only be with me as a radio form, changing my music once in a while to be reminded of you

Australian Girl

Voices say that was you, and that you always wanted to be deported. So after I passed you on the train you sucked off a cop or something and got sent back home

Hog Tied

Did you go back to Argentina? Or is it that I’M “You” as in who I’m writing too… whatever

I did get tied up, did you get tied up? No way this happened in Argentina, it had to have happened after.

Edit:

No you do not want to be tied up, you already have been…

Water Polo

Biggest lesbian experience, and then two dudes came up and you gave them handjobs. I’m seeing this with parabola in the rain, but why are the mens bodies completely underwater?

Edit:

Waited long enough for the voices to say you never played water polo, that was someone else using a radio, pretending to be you I guess.