I didn't delete it

Voices in my head are talking about that google document where I was telling you my location, time stamp, and what was going on in my head.

I still have it.

If you really want to know, I’m at work right now.

My hours are second shift, 3PM-11PM, and sometimes I cover other shifts, Mon-Friday.

You’ll be fine, if I’m really your “inspiration” like the voices say.

If you’ve made it this far, you’re either as strong as I am, or as crazy as I am.

God Speed.

Flies can give head?

What is this some new form of Monster Girl Hentai these voices are talking about?

They say you were “buzzing” when they made you feel like a “fly on the wall” and then you gave someone a blowjob turned all the way up and did cocaine.

Living the dream.

Edit: Monster Girl Encyclopedia

Stanford University

Voices were saying you were attending Stanford University in New York… Stanford is in California.

They were also saying something along the lines of like, you were/are in Boston, nearby, but was arrested for drinking in public. That if someone “turned you up” you’d try to have sex with my brother.

Anyway.

Edit:

Voices say now you’re dating a cheerleader.

Whatever dude.

Cheating on you

Okay, yeah sure, every time I hit like on a girl that isn’t you on Instagram I’m fucking cheating on you. Fan-fucking-tastic, I’m being fucking unfaithful, sure, laugh it up, ha ha fucking ha.

I’m gonna keep fucking cheating on you until we’re physically back together and I get that blowjob all these fucking voices keep going on about.

🖕

EDIT:

IS THIS FUCKING DONE YET?! NOW THEYRE SAYING YOU NEVER WANT TO LEAVE NORWAY BECAUSE YOURE GETTING EVERYTHING/EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT!!!

IS THIS DONE YET?! WILL THEY FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE?!?!??!!??

Edit: Voices are saying you’d ruin my life if we got back together. Okay.

edit: specifically, that you’d get herpes, give it to me and then light my house on fire with one of my stuffed animals.

Edit: Made out with Zoya on graduation day then pushed her/knocked her out when you saw her herpes infection. Reasons to not be a lesbian even if I don’t get mad at that.

edit:

Voices say somehow you got herpes anyway. Your “dad” gave it to you, figured out how to give it to you, via a guy he hooked you up with or something else, idk.

The Indian

Voices say you immediately met up, didn’t make him wait for 3 hours, made out and he ate you out.

okay.

Edit: Voices say I would t want you now, you would be opiates. They’re also equating being on opiates to the feeling of love, because I suppose they both activate oxytocin in the brain. Silly.

Edit: voices say you wish I kept that screen shot from M’s Instagram story so you could jump off that balcony at the concert a few years ago.

Wedding Rape

Why are they telling me this?

Edit: Not only do they want me to “give up on you” (pretty sure I have, idk) they are telling me this to get me to give up on life, I guess.

Black Metal 2

Apparently, the contents or themes of “Black Metal” have to be so brutal, so disturbing that you would not feel as if you were able to express it, outside of song form.

So no speaking to a therapist or a friend

no writing it down

it just comes out in the instrumentation and lyrics, if there are lyrics, and then the lyrics themselves may be unintelligible.

Got it.

Rather be Dead

Voices say you’d rather be dead than to be with me in Boston.

Again, I am not stopping you from doing what you want.

Edit: Voices are saying you would’ve tried to bite off my penis if I let you give me head.

Edit: Voices say I’m your “Fathers” erection so you don’t want to be with any men that can get erect. Okay.

Edit: Voices say your father would rape you if you were ever “peaceful” and this has to do with Black Metal somehow

Edit: Voices are saying I could’ve taken a picture of your father at the inn in NY and he would’ve “snapped out of it” but they’re also like pinning the blame on me like its my fault that I didn’t think to ask to do that!? Like what the fuck would I do with a picture of you and your family? Why would I want to have that? Yeah I “picked up on it” but they either didn't or pretended like they didn’t even understand English so how was I gonna get around that? Especially with you being fucking non-verbal most of the time I was in that goddamn room!?

Edit: Voices say you went to Argentina to save your younger sister/daughter from being gang raped by your father and other family members and your sister would not have survived. This would inspire Howards “Black Metal.” They say we can’t get back together because you would remember all of that and try to commit suicide (?) basically I would give you PTSD.

Edit: They say while I was typing that previous paragraph you went to go and suck off your father.

Edit: They say your “mother” would not allow that to happen to your younger sister/daughter but since you went back to them they allowed it to happen to you.

Edit: Now the topic of the conversation is changing, they said you had sex with two people at “that hostel” but which hostel? New York? Boston? Does it even matter? We “weren’t dating” or at least we didn’t have a label on us.

Edit: Voices say you would have rather been raped by every black man you’ve ever met up with.

Edit: would’ve fucked someone at that dojo, which one? Boston or the DR? Ugh…

Edit: The voices are saying you wouldn’t want to be sentient because if I visited you in the DR you’d want to run away to California and I’d end up joining the Bloods and you’re end up as “hoe” being passed around by the gang.

Edit: You did coke in that bathroom at the graduation dinner. Okay.

Edit: Correction, at the ICA.

Edit: Odin would jack off in the red shirt I gave you.

Michael Fonseca of Norway

I can’t find this guys real name, all I know is he was in my Future Learn courses at the University of Oslo online. Voices say you had sex with him, that he’s a “Mike Fonseca”

When I was in Jail he was in a commercial for another TV show but I haven’t seen anything of him since.

Edit: Voices say you can never be yourself, and also, that you can’t kill yourself until I kill myself, or something like that.

Edit: Now the voices are saying you were sexually assaulted (raped) everyday while studying for your degree by 8 different people.

Please tell me that

That you wanted to laugh so fucking hard when Steinar asked if I would marry you

Please tell me that’s true and not just a lie from my psychosis

Push us even further apart

NY Only

Voices say I would be the only one you wanted when you were in New York, as if your desires changed based on your location.

In Boston you’d want someone else,

The same for Norway, The Dominican Republic, etc etc

Shot in the back

Voices say after you sucked off the spare rib or his dick, one or the other, Steinar pulled out a gun and pulled the trigger to shoot me in the back.

Sticking Point

Voices keep trying to drive the point home that you’d just be a hoe in Boston and then try to kill yourself.

This is how I’m starting my day. Nice.

Edit:

Voices are also saying you’re into exhibitionism which you can only pull off in Norway, not the USA

edit:

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C814LH6iA6T/?igsh=MWtxNnB1MzlpbTE4MQ==

Edit:

if it’s because I hit like on a stupid profile picture then fucking unblock me and I’ll unlike it and we can go on about our day