Someone from one of those hostels Boston or New York the voices claim turned all the way up in Norway and changed his name and his face to be with you!
Fantastic!
That doesn’t stop the voices in my fucking head!
Edit: Voices say you’re the “ugliest girl on my Instagram” and I remember that dream so you think Essarae is ugly but guess what?! I STILL FOLLOW HER! ID SMASH!!!!
“She’s just a hoe in a brothel”
“That’s the best police officer in Boston”
“That’s her inspiration”
“That is all the opposite”
How can you make sense of anything that’s being said?! EVER?! AT ALL??!
Anti-Suicide
Voices say you’re on a no fly list because you tried to have sex on the flight to or from Australia
Edit: I sent an e-mail to the prosecutor that sentenced me to jail just now. I asked him if it was possible to speak with you if I had a police escort. I just want to clear my head that fucking badly.
Voices say all Norwegian girls received enlightenment, hard to imagine, and that you’ll commit suicide, which they’ve been talking about over and over again, confirming your death and then insinuating that you’re still alive and breathing. I don’t know. I updated my profile on Bumble. I’m not hopeful, I’m not even excited, I’m just going through the motions I guess.
edit: I just heard “they would rather commit suicide than be anywhere near you”
And it didn’t feel like it was directed at me specifically but I still heard it.
Edit: Voices said you “went all over the world” for love and still didn’t find it. Idk why I’ve always been right here. Weird. But also that’s why you’re on a “no fly list” which, could also be a lie or rather, the opposite.
I never remember the rules to these “games” I just can’t be bothered…
edit: voices say all you say is “we had sex” and then “turn all the way off”
I don’t understand…
Edit: Voices say, that date you went on while you were in Boston, you did suck his dick under the table, and then tied his shoelaces together, THEN you “spit on his plate.”
edit: essentially you told a “half-truth” not the whole truth
Voices say you want me to die and then you will, however many people that are using or viewing me for “inspiration.”
I don’t have any plans to take my own life, and I am unaware of all the agents that are imitating me.
All I know is that I’m being ignored in some way shape or form from most parties here.
No one is talking to me, which is most frustrating.
Edit: Voices Say you got exactly what you want and never want to be in Boston ever again.
That feels so obvious, why do the voices have that message on repeat? Why…
Edit: voices gave me permission to write this one out! “Cheating on someone that isn’t turned all the way up would make you suicidal.”
Edit: Just had a dream where apparently you got facial reconstruction to look like this e-girl Essarae.
Your “father” was there and some dude that looked like him trying to explain what was happening to me. At the end of it all it’s been explained that someone just “turned all the way up” as I was screaming, in my mind apparently cause I didn’t move in bed and now I have lyrics for a song, that’s pretty much based on the book “Brave New World” by Hunter S. Thompson? I think it’s him.
The lyrics I remember say something like
“Already dying
Already screaming
Already trying,
To survive”
If I made a video recording of the candor then you’d get a better idea for the song but I am honest to god not trying to write music right now.
Here’s a picture of the girl:
Voices say people are committing suicide inside me.
That I’m your “coffin.”
Sounds more like the torture device “Iron Maiden” that shares the same name with an 80’s metal band.
More like an “Iron Man” however, since ya’know, I’m a dude and all.
But that was short lived, the time that it took for them to start talking about you again.
Voices also said you’d have sex with all of my high school teachers to inspire black metal.
New, but still weird…
While your life and the horrors that came with it are no longer a topic, voices keep saying I was “suicidal” for being social in my terrible twenties.
I think it’s in relation to how many young people in the 90’s in Norway, wanted to or thought about making “Black Metal” music, so getting black out drunk like I did might inspire an up and coming artist in Norway to idk, murder you?
That’s the only way I’m making sense of this shit.
Voices say you’ve committed suicide, again.
I took a nap earlier in the day and woke up to that news.
And while I’m not hearing anymore about the sexual war crimes done to you, I hope you find peace in the afterlife, or in your next life, whatever they mean by “suicide.”
What I’ve come to understand from all of this madness is that maybe, possibly, we didn’t know each other all that well at all, but again, we were teenagers, teenagers that thought they knew the world and really didn’t. At least that was me.
But I was willing to learn and grow, honestly, and I still am, albeit, I’m a bit more cautious now, in some ways.
Anyway. Peace, blessings, love and joy.
I wish the best for you.
Even in death.
When Odin “shot you” the voices are saying if I let you hit the ground you’d have pretended to have amnesia and have gone to go have sex with someone. Thats “being playful.”
I’m stuck trying to figure out if I’m over you or not.
If I’m still insane or not.
The voices call me smart, they say I don’t want you back, but they keep talking about you anyway.
I do not understand.
I don’t know how to move forward.
Well I do but I feel like I’m missing something.
Something seems off about it all.
I’ll just keep working on myself I know but I want this to stop.
Voices say you made a bet that I would commit suicide…
Edit: Voices say you regret having sex with me.
Edit: Had a talk with my brother a few moments ago, he told me instead of saying “I’m thinking about my ex” I could just say “I’m having an episode.”
I don’t know why I didn’t think of that. Maybe I’m just too honest.
Regardless I’m gonna try dating again. Maybe. But I have some motivation now.
edit: voices say you just “turned all the way up” to write “so what” and if it didn’t matter in anyway you wouldn’t bother writing at all.
Voices are telling me that night you “went on a date” with whomever that when you said you “spit on the plate” it means you sucked his dick until he ejaculated and spit his cum/semen on the dinner/paper plate. Whatever plate it was, as if he’d care after getting fellatio about what the fuck you spit out.
Edit: I got drunk today. How drunk? I’m so drunk I’m having a hangover before I fall asleep…
Embed later: https://youtu.be/6VwbyBGbqPY?si=vkPyRSQ8XMlTKedP
Another Mike fonseca
Hopefully…
I got high without “paranoia” which would be the frequency of black metal
but I’m high so I forgot what else I wanted to type…
something something I’m without you
Edit: what are you going to “feel like” you “cheated on me” with everyone I introduce you too I stg…
Edit: I’m six ways past drunk
But if you were here right now, I wouldn’t be watching Instagram live.
I’d be doing “something else” … believe that
Edit: https://www.instagram.com/reel/C9SdYebpuPl/?igsh=dG1lMWh6bzQ3aWE1
Edit: random- I have to masturbate for these people…
Edit: the reason you don’t want to be with anyone that can stay “faithful” is that I the stereophonic identity of “black metal” that would mean the “faithful” person would have the ability to kill someone, and potentially make a “hit” black metal song or a song that could never be understood.
You’re going to just be in a relationship with your “father”
Okay
Edit: Apparently I’m a “gay” and you wanted me to be a “fag “
Ya vi elsker kamping
Edit: I’m your father’s penis, or his dick head, the glans.
And instead of sucking it you’d just be with me.
Something about him not being able to get enough.
While I’m in a busy restaurant with a friend, trying to enjoy what little life I have, away from
This madness.
edit: ate poop. Cool. Go away.
Edit: there is no going back for you, voices say.
Edit: you just have sex with your dad. That’s who you wear makeup for now.
Edit: you just got shot in the head by your “dad”
Edit: you’d rather die than have sex with anyone
Edit: it’s possible that you “smell like cancer”
Edit: you’re “someone that loves me” and what you mean by that is that you love your father’s cock. Okay.
You “aren’t a slut” unless they “turn you all the way up”
And that’s why we break up/broke up so often.
This is the reason why you don’t want to be with someone “faithful” like me, apparently.
Edit: a girl just approached me at the bus stop a few minutes ago.
For that brief moment my mind wasn’t racked with thoughts of you, but the voices were still present.
At some point I realized that, and the ideal scenario is that a woman approaches me and tells me she wants to be with me, but the voices foreshadow that at some point, further in the relationship, past the honeymoon phase you’d reemerge like some leviathan from the deep, and I’d have to explain myself.
Maybe I’d try to make that honeymoon phase last as long as possible, I don’t know but today a new relationship, at least for the last half hour, felt doable.
Oh and also voices say your “father” told you you were adopted in Argentina and then proceeded to kiss you. Fucking gross.
Edit: Voices in my head keep making me feel like I should have kissed that girl, that I just met, who I let borrow my phone so she could call her boyfriend…
like I have all the context to know that that would be the absolute wrong thing to do but for some odd reason I feel like if I did it I’d have a chance of being in a relationship with her or at least sex??? It’s a fucking backwards feeling, like the world doesn’t work like porn, and I know that. What the fuck.
edit: “Don’t be (insert you name)‘s you seriously would’ve gotten a goddamn blowjob if you were turned all the way up.”
Edit: Voices say you weren’t wearing makeup cause you were thinking about someone else while you were with me in Boston… there are honestly more important things to care about…
Edit: Okay back to the girl I just met, apparently, Mike Fonseca would’ve asked “do you want to make out” and voices are telling me she would’ve said yes and then would have wanted to kill herself.
She seemed nice, and I’m sure her boyfriend would be upset if she just randomly died so I’m glad I didn’t do that. Lol.
Edit: Voices say you’re “someone who loves me” and that’s why you’re unfaithful because that’s what they all would be.
I assume that’s a reference to all the girls that confessed love for me “turned up” but this is absolutely not what I want, or expected.