I was taking a shower a few minutes ago and I was reconciling with what I think is another lost friend, another lost love.
Chalk it up to growing pains but I stopped myself from “hardening my heart” and considering that eventually, everyone will leave me.
They say “you’re born alone, you die alone” sure, but as we grow up, and grow older, why can’t we do that arm in arm, and grow with love and understanding for one another?
Like my biggest dream is to have a giant party with all of my friends!
And then I think about politics, the situation here in America, while even with populist talking points we still have white supremacy and xenophobia.
I don’t know, maybe the country is cooked?
Maybe this is just not the right time, or place for my lofty ideals.
But I’m still sad.
A lot of things in life are going good for me, I got a girlfriend recently, but this still feels like a rug was pulled out from under me.
And to this person I think I’ve lost, I haven’t confirmed, this person that thinks they know better than people that have studied politics and frequently talk about it. This person that encouraged me to “do my own research.” This person that I told “we’re living in different realities.”
For them to take that sentence, that end of a conversation and then swear me off, what were we?
Was that always the goal?
Is that just what happens when you leave Massachusetts? You pretend or forget that you ever knew anyone there?
What about when you wanted me to visit you? Does that invitation still stand?
I assume it doesn’t.
And I hate that I feel so deeply for things that apparently were only skin deep, superficial.
I told you I loved you and I meant that, in any capacity.
But alas, such is life.
C’est la vie, as they say.