What’s up party people in the place to be!?
YA BOI IS STRUGGLING!!!
So everyone knows 'I’m “crazy” blah blah “ex gf from Norway” blah blah “is also fat now” but recently I’ve been hearing the voices and also having little breakthroughs.
Like I get further and further away from “loving my ex” yet I can’t control when these feelings or voices come on.
I honestly feel like two different minds in one body, and one is trying to hijack the other.
Because let’s face it, the last time me and this girl were on good terms was the year of our lord 2009, It’s been 16 years, a DECADE and a half! I have all the logical reasons why it won’t work and, and frankly will never work out again but somehow this little man in the back or the side of my mind wants me to “keep the faith.” To “Hold on loosely, but don’t let go.” But if I have a .38 Special I’d blow my fucking head off. I hate this shit just as much as you hate seeing me write about it or go through it.
I think this onslaught of psychosis recently came on because I forgot to take my medication a few nights in a row, so I’m dealing with the consequences of that. To prevent that from happening in the future I might get one of those pill boxes that have the days of the week on them and just fill that up, muy bien. Haven’t pulled the trigger on that though, ya’boi is living paycheck to paycheck, which should end soon, I’m just working on saving some money and it’s killing my disposable income.
School starts tomorrow, and I’ve been taking Japanese Lessons privately (just remembered I have to do the homework for that) but besides yearning for a love I fear I’ll never have, life is good, and I think I’m becoming a positive pillar of the communities I give my time to.
I’m hoping the year will end with even better news!
See you in the next one honeybun!