Your husband sounds like a guy that needs quite a bit of help.
I know I don’t know him, and I don’t know what he’s like or how “wonderful” he may or may not be, but they say he’s trying to “commit suicide” by drinking paint..? Isn’t most paint non-toxic nowadays? I mean maybe he’d need to get his stomach pumped but like I said, I don’t know anything about your neck of the woods, other than you being unwilling to communicate with me.
I’m just some cosmic plaything for the whim of the universe, what with this mental illness and all.
I thought I’d use the “power of attraction” to try and get you back into my life but that stuff seems all hokey. Like pretending I already have you and am in a relationship with you when it’s clear you reside somewhere with me, in my memories, my mind and heart, but what I desire is something real time communications, tangible, to hold you hand, etc.
I prefer the “No Mind” concept of Zen anyway, I don’t want to double down on being or seeming obsessed with you.
I should finish that poem…