These visions, these thoughts.
I feel a twinge of angry and jealousy, and it evaporates.
I’m slightly annoyed and then it vanishes.
I can’t even describe it as angst when I see these visions.
I can’t must up enough emotion to care.
Just empty sexual hallucinations.
It’s never you, it’s always “someone else” but your face is on them, a deep fake. A psychic fucking deep fake.
Over and over.
Right before I try and fall asleep.
I’m not even sad.
I can’t go back in time, teleport to your location and start a fight with the guy.
I never could.
I’m not clairvoyant, especially not on a messenger applications, millions of miles and computers away.
I can’t tell by the words on the screen whether or not you were lying.
I can’t, I couldn’t do anything, then and now.
A hollow realization.
Emptiness, but not the good “Zen” kind.