High hopes

I should t be hopeful, with everything that I know, but the voices make it sound like it’s the opposite.

I know what I should be thinking and believing, that I’ll never see or speak to you again, but it’s like my brain is tricking itself to “be positive” or think “maybe someday” when you have made it abundantly clear that the inverse is true.

Why is this happening?

Why am I like this?