Hope?

The voices, sound like they want me to hold out hope of us getting back together.

I “made you see clearly” or something to that effect.

I don’t know why you’re the subject of this madness, but I am taking my medication as often as I remember to.

I even have a little reminder in my phone that tells me when to take it.

Maybe I need to up the dose, and get more sleep.

This is the real reason I don’t want to be with anyone else.

I’m always, even if involuntarily, thinking of you.

And reaching out to you is a one way ticket to feeling the same with extra steps.

You don’t say anything.

No one on your side of the world says anything.

Just the police officers, and I don’t need to strike up a common cord with them.

If anything, they’d probably use that as evidence to arrest me again, if I were to ever visit.

But I have no good reason to visit.

I’d receive a warmer welcome in Sweden I’m sure.

And I have no good reason to visit there, either.

So what do I do?

I wanted to invite you to the spotify playlist I created, not that you’d add songs, or even listen to the music already there.

I just want to be involved with you in some way sometimes.

Like that would heal this open wound.

And I could be wrong.

You could direct all your venom and spite towards me maliciously, and I’m taken a back, but maybe,

maybe that would give me the closure I think I need as well.

I just don’t know, and that’s one of the worst things about this.

I feel like it would be a simple thing to just talk,

I’m not asking for your hand in marriage,

Just a dialouge,

but,

somehow,

asided from everything I’ve already done,

There’s some thorn in your side thats made you hate me,

long before my harrassment campaing had begun.

I apologize for however, and whenever I offended you.

Like I always say, I want you to be happy,

fulfilled,

full of joy,

and love.

I know that’s not possible 24/7,

but I hope most days in the week you’re doing alright, ya’know?

I’ll just be here,

Ten thousand miles away wishing things were different,

better,

but I’ll be fine I suppose.

I’m still here now.