I thought that would be enough to keep the voices away.
I thought that would make me completely over you.
But here I am again, writing to a ghost.
I am taking my medication, but the voices persist.
They keep telling me about you having sex or being raped because the men/people at the hostel would take your laptop from you.
I’m not upset, but what are the voices trying to do by telling me this? What do they want? Why would I worry?
For as far as I’ve come from these hallucinations, dominating my life, why do I still hear this stuff, although I feel like I’m miles away from the incident?
Hell, even at that time I wouldn’t have minded as much. I just want some honesty, some clarity, to know whether or not this is true, but to be honest I don’t even know if I want that anymore.
My dry spell is over, I have the emotional capacity to consider others, why can’t I just leave you in the past?
What keeps in bringing this back?
That’s what I want to know.