How do I stop caring? Voices are talking again, it’s my own fault for maybe missing a few days of medication but they keep saying that “you ate shit” and “you wouldn’t survive.”
I still don’t know what to do about all this, except to come here and vent.
I know I don’t know everything that goes on or went on in that period of our lives when we met but some dialogue, just something to clear this up, some definitive proof so I KNOW I’m just crazy, would be nice.
I don’t think I’ll ever get it but I feel like I need to know what part of my mind/body/soul wants you back so badly, why it wants you back and how I can eliminate him.
I know my last few posts were about me being “over it” and all that jazz but I know I’d come back here all hot and bothered again, it just takes time.
Still, STILL I WANT TO BE DONE, I WANT TO MOVE ON, but goddamit if this isn’t the hardest thing I’ve ever tried to accomplish with my life.
And it’s not like I’m hiding this from you or the world, you can see me struggle with this in real time.
Is this even about me though!?
I mean in some way, 90% it is of course, but whatever’s left is what can be done about you???