I’m at a party with new friends, celebrating Oktoberfest
voices bring up blowjob for laptop. It’s not like I abandoned you for that. It’s not like I was even angry. I loved you anyway, and sometimes, that’s the hardest thing to remember.
They said you didn’t care that we were “going out”
But I remember we broke up while you met the Indian in New York, before you got to Boston.
They say you knew I would care if we were a couple then.
I kick myself wishing I fought harder that you could stay at my house, but the voices say you’d have ”become an ape”
More than anything I struggle with pulling myself back to reality after not knowing what to believe…
But I know I love you, through it all.
That’s one thing that doesn’t seem to change.
Pic from the party so you know I’m not lying. I’m trying to live and meet new people. If I don’t have you, if I can’t have you, there’s no reason to wait for you, right?