It hurts knowing that it doesn’t matter.
That all of my thoughts and hypotheses will lead to nothing.
That I’ll never get closure.
That you want nothing to do with me.
I hurts knowing that I’ll be subject to this wondering, this wandering for god knows how many years before I did something or someone else.
It just hurts, recovering from a night of drinking and fun.
Alone at 6 in the morning, my friends on the couch and me knowing I should get some sleep for the day ahead but still pondering the thoughts of a relationship long passed.
it just fucking hurts, sometimes even physically, knowing that you won’t be there.
And I wish it wouldn’t.
But it does.
It hurts.