Thinking about you is bad enough, but how do I stop the conspiracy ideation?
Police officers, the church, stories of sexual carnage and violence.
I mean- there’s too much to lose now to just decide to “go crazy” again.
I’m working hard on building a future for myself, a foundation.
You know that.
I suppose I should tell you I earned my Associates Degree, and 'I’m going for my bachelors, not so certain about a Master’s, but honestly, you probably don’t care about any of that anyway.
Still, and I’m saying this for myself now, it’s a bad idea to buy a ticket to Norway.
I could be arrested for up to 6 months.
I have a job I’ve been holding down, I have a career goals I aspire to achieve.
I just can’t allow myself to risk that for some petty truths about a relationship that happened 15 years ago.
I’ve been with so many other women in that time, and none of it worked out but when you look at the inherent racism of the United States of America it makes more sense.
Still! I’ve done it before, I can do it again, I just don’t want to bother at the moment.
Look you don’t care about any of this, I’ll just end up in jail and you can sleep better at night knowing I’m behind bars for a while and then on a fucking plane back to Boston.
But I care, and like I want the best for you, I want the best for myself as well.