These last few days have been rough. A lot worse than how it’s been in a long time, but I managed to pull through without calling you or e-mailing you so I guess I’m getting better at living with this illness.
Still, I don’t know what to pursue.
I know I’m making small steps towards change, a new, brighter future but maybe right now, in this moment, as I type, I’m feeling impatient.
For the last 20 minutes or more I felt the clarity of mind I hadn’t had in a while, and it’s nice to know that I guess I come down from the high of utter madness, but still I wish I wouldn’t go crazy at all.
There are happy emotions and feelings mixed in with the negative ones too.
I don’t like that I revisit this love but I’m happy I’ve known love, ya’know?
All in all, I suppose it is what it is.
Do you remember “The Unbearable Lightness of Being?”
”Ess muss sein, muss ess sein?”
I got the updated german language version:
Es ist wie es ist.