Voices are saying you made a deal with those guys at the hostel to have sex with one of them every night in exchange for the alcohol they had.
Well, it’s a good thing we weren’t a couple at the time.
Voices say this is why you feel/felt fake as hell.
Well, it’s in the past now where there’s nothing I can do about it, if it’s true.
But if I bring even a modicum of care or concern into this situation I only saw you with that bottle once, and it’s not like you were shit faced or even seemed buzzed the other times I went to visit you or drop you off.
Still, because I’m such a bleeding heart, I want to know the truth, more so I can disavow these voices completely and finally.
But maybe that will never happen.
Maybe I’m destined to think of you with no response for the rest of my life, doomed to live on a plane of hell filled with love.
Agony.
P.S.
Voices are confirming not sex, but rather, fellatio.
Alright.