Many I’m only posting this here hoping less people will see it.
I feel disgusted with myself, and almost ashamed, ashamed that I haven’t done enough and that what I am doing is taking so goddamn long.
I talk about being kind to you but what about being kind to me? I can’t see to stop kicking my own ass and trying to get in gear for the next great accomplishment.
I feel like I have no money, nothing to brag about, no degree worth mentioning, no family, no kids, no place of my own, no car, nothing that would make me a modern man besides my ambition, which isn’t worth squat until what you want is got.
I hate being/feeling this, impulsive and impatient. I can take a step back and breathe, take a few deep breaths and remember that comparison is the thief of joy but every now and again I’ll get this creeping feeling in the quiet of the night and think that it’s over when really it’s just beginning.
Ugh.