I still hallucinate about you. The voices a few minutes ago are trying to make me believe you’ll come and be with me in America, even after what just happened today, who our President is.
Saying that’s “hard to believe” doesn’t do justice to how far away I am from being convinced by my delusions, from being curious about my hallucinations.
I play with the idea of smoking weed again, but I also don’t want to make my symptoms worse, I want to be as far away as possible, and while I wish I could enjoy recreational marijuana like I do alcohol, maybe it’d just that “enough is enough.” Like I’ve seen the heights of marijuana, is there anything for me there?
Who knows what I’ll do.
But they still talk about you, and I’m sorry I lost my mind and gave them any weight before, I was new to this whole “mental illness” things, but now I just, I don’t know how to explain it but “reality” is much more clear to me now.
It’s still distressing to hear the voices of the people you cherish or people describing people you cherish, talk badly about you, but there is no “psychic reality” or “Wavelength” no “galaxy of skulls.”
As disappointing as that may or may not be.
There’s a lot they say about being “Norwegian” in general, and I can’t recall it all here and now, I should be doing school work, but they bring you up, that’s all I really wanted to say.