My sleep schedule has been irreparably damaged.
but behind my closed eyes I see what you meant when you said you “worked at a hotel.”
And now I wonder if my mind is poisoned by all of the pornography I watch because I see you making out with some larger, muscular black guy half naked knocking on vacant rooms only to what I assume is you to go in with him or them or whomever and have sex.
Voices say rape.
I don’t feel much about it, I don’t care, but I don’t want to try and sit here as I try to relax and determine if it was “real.”
And this was, immediately after we broke up? When you were “working” at the hotel.
And when I try to find Norwegian porn, or rather, what I’ve found of Norwegian porn the movie “Best Sex of Norway” comes to mind, and there’s a scene where the women are fucking in a hotel, and I wonder if I’m missing out on some horrible inside joke? Some cultural reference I “wouldn’t understand” but mostly because I just don’t have the context. It’s not some greater lived experience that I could only have if I was Norwegian National, I just need to see the source material.
where am I going with this…