Voices have been vocal these last two days, I’m sure you can tell, but one of the subplots now is that they claim you want me dead, or to be killed.
sometimes they say “that’s the opposite” but what is the opposite? To live a long fulfilling life?
It’s, again, distressing.
And to dig a bit deeper into that, maybe I’m being paranoid but I remember talking to you and you were big into getting revenge on xanga. Or maybe that was someone else using your account to message me.
When I was arrested I found out that your culture of revenge is a Viking belief/practice.
So where am I going with this?
I guess what I’m saying is I’m afraid you’ll try to get your revenge on me.
I don’t know what that looks like, but I do know that even with this increased amount of paranoia and anxiety I would still welcome you back into my life, even if somehow that means my life is forfeit.
Something in my just wants you that much.
I mean, it would be disingenuous for me to be doing all of this, writing all of this, feeling all of this, explaining all of this to go “nah, I’d drop you like a bad habit.”
Curiosity kills the cat and I’ve got a few lives left to lose I suppose.