They sell Snus at 7-Eleven here in America now, the brand is called “ZYN.”
I used to buy it and think of you, but I’m not addicted to it, maybe because you gave me the real stuff so long ago… and also probably because I had the real stuff again in prison…
But every time I’m in the convenience store and someone buys it you flash into my mind.
And I’m taking my meditation.
And I’m writing here instead of writing to you-
But still I’m visited by these hallucinations, filling me with fear and hope.
I started writing this because I’m listening to a podcast and they mentioned “ZYN” again.
I wonder, what your husband, Howard, has that I don’t.
I imagine it’s a complete and full understanding of Norwegian History and social customs, something you wouldn’t need in America, but something you might miss, having grown up with it, and abandoning it.
Still, as I go about my life I learn more and more about Nordic way of life and customs from various books, YouTube videos, and friends, enriching my experience, clearing away my ignorance.
I’m not sure how much it will matter, but maybe when I decided to become fluent in Norwegian, when I can move past that mental barrier, when I can visit Norway without being arrested, maybe then it’ll make a difference.
Until then I suppose I’ll focus on Swedish, or leaning Danish. Everyone says they want to get out of America, as we watch the fall of our empire, but I’m only interested in places where I can have a dual citizenship, Denmark is on my list.
Of course I’d need the money to do that.
Of course it still feels like a pipe dream.
Of course there are probably some benefits of living in America, Massachusetts of all places, that trumps Europe, but still- Denmark is where I have my sights set. For now.
It’s that or Japan.