You’d feel fake

If I “turned all the way up”

I do not know what that is

According to the voices I cannot do that alone/by myself

I am just annoyed

I’ve reached out to you multiple times

In multiple ways

On multiple occasions.

I have all the written and logical reasons as to why we are not communicating with each other right now

But it feels like even my medication doesn’t stop this madness

I have written a letter to my doctor about taking double my dose, I’m waiting for her response

I "wouldn't like" who you are now

You already told me that.

I saved that e-mail, about you know what, lets just show everybody what you’ve said to me:

“I listened to the voice message you left. Please do not come.

Please. 

It can only make things worse for everyone, and it would be an aboslutely vicious thing for you to do.

We met twice when I was a teenager, and a decade later you are still severely harassing and stalking me. I therefore find it hard to comprehend that you get upset that I do not want to talk to you. You are obviously not the victim here. If you can promise me in a convincing way that you will never under any circumstance travel to Norway, I can agree to either one phone conversation, or reading and responding to one email. Since I have blocked your number, I will need a written response to this before we could talk, if you want to take the deal.   

This should go without saying, but if you do travel here, I will of course not speak to you.”

SO NOW EVERYONE IN MY FUCKING HEAD CAN BE AWARE.

This is the first e-mail in a chain of back and fourths so I fucking get it, I really do, but that doesn’t stop these goddamn voices.

More Words

“Don’t ever be Dan Fairclough and ‘X’ Dan would be being faithful to a whore.”

I almost sent an email

Apparently, when you got back to Norway, and you were “working at the hotel” I.e. prostitution,

A person from my childhood church went to go see you, and you gave him a blowjob.

I can’t confirm these details but this is just what the voices tell me.

I don’t know why they’re telling me, but they’re telling me.

Your Father

If most of them time on MSN Messenger I was talking to your father, the only thing we learned from that is that your father is fucking gay.

New Job

They say-

You walked out of your old job

Stark naked

And into a brothel

Now

Your father pays

To come see you and “talk”

Saved Money

Voices say I sent you an email or a document, something that told you how much money I have saved, and all these doppelgängers of you just want access to that bank account.

I can’t even take the money out myself, so they can stop flooding into the country.

One Up

You don’t want me to write or do anything because the general response from people in your part of the world is to try and out-do me

Why did you grab my finger?

At the beach?

To tell someone their penis is that small?

I know I asked if you wanted to get married and now the voices in my head are talking about the whole world laughing at me but so fucking what?!

So I’m a woman?

That’s what the voices say, and you wouldn’t want a “woman” you’d want a “man” because a man is abusive!

again, not my words, words of the voices.

The Scarlet Letter

Had sex with people so they could do your homework for you since you seem to be cursed with “read between the lines” where the space between characters on the page of a book makes you see images