Volunteering

Voices say you decide to volunteer at a food kitchen to “be like me.”

And somehow ended up giving out blowjobs and handjobs instead of food?

I want to be alone

This isn’t about being with her again.

I don’t want to date anyone right now.

And it doesn’t help having voices in your head.

Something Terrible

Voices are saying people don’t want to see me write anymore, the names of big celebrities and Hollywood types.

The idea is that eventually I’ll write something terrible, so terrible it will tarnish my reputation or something.

I got a bit of rest earlier and they said that my ex would try to choke me in my sleep. Choke me to death.

They also keep saying “I want to know more” about her, like there’s this endless wealth of information I’m not aware of, and then they tell me, to gauge my response/reaction or something like that.

I don’t know.

Australia

Voices say you’re addicted to opiates, that you did Krokodil in Australia.

That I walked past you that one day on the train.

They say that was you.

But what the fuck do I know?

All I know is you have every avenue to contact me and you still don’t.

That’s reality.

Edit:

Voices say your skin is necrotic.

That you were being fucked in the ass at some concert.

Unfaithful

Voices say you’re unfaithful to your partners. A serial cheater although you parade around as if you’re monogamous.

Voices also say Japanese people pray to me to help them stay faithful to their partners.

I have no idea what to believe.

Chlamydia

Voices in my head saying you wish you gave me a blowjob so I’d catch chlamydia and every time I thought about you it’d be associated with that negative memory of contracting an STI or something

Facebook

Voices say if you were turned all the way up you’d fuck everyone I’m friends with on Facebook.

That’s just how you’d cheat on me.

Really weird, considering that I’m friends with my mom on Facebook.

Definitely sure she wouldn’t fuck you.

100% positive of that.

Or my sister.

Can’t flush

Voices are saying had you stayed with me you’d have been a “Giant Piece of Crap” one so large that you wouldn’t be able to simply flush it down the toilet.

This all again with the “Daikon” (turn up) power and technology.

Shota

Voices keep saying you raped Odin on multiple occasions, being influenced by he who shall Not be named’s mother.

Shota is a category of Japanese hentai, referring to the molestation of young boys.

They’re also saying that night I got black out and left only down the street from my house, earth style Odwalla stole My cellphone and called you.

I was missing my vest as well from that night, but I’ve been saying for the last few weeks now “with friends like these who needs enemies.”

ASAP

Voices saying you “had sex” as soon as you got back to Norway.

Other things as well but I didn’t wait long enough to hear it.

Time Travel

Can’t go back in time.

What are you going to do?

Possess a child?

And what if those changes affect the future you have now?

Foolish.

Weed Weed

Voices in my head are talking about the weed I found that doesn’t give paranoia or anxiety.

Idk why, but I did just smoke it, twice today.

Normally (when I’m not drunk) it just puts me to sleep, but shit shit is Chris Brown now so I’m not certain it’s still potent, although I kept it in its bag.

The only way to find out is to just get more, if that’s even possible.

I check strains for anti-paranoia and anxiety on Leafly.com

And then I check what Strains are listed at local dispensaries.

I don’t know why I’m telling you this, or at least writing this here, thinking you’ll read it, all I know is that that is what I do and that’s what I’m doing, I guess.

Adventure Time

I can explain the cacophony of emotions I’m feeling and simultaneously trying to ignore.

Words, memories, feelings are constantly flooding my mind and I’m uncertain that a portion of them are even my own.

The show “Adventure Time” is playing in the background as I type, hence the title.

You could call it my “comfort show” but I’d also like to own “Regular Show” as well.

It’s hard to focus.

It’s hard to think.

I talk to myself.

I find my breathing irregular.

What can I do to alleviate my symptoms?

What I want the most is to talk to you, but for whatever reason that’s and impossibility.

So what?

Pursue other women while you occupy 75% or more of my mind?

Like I’ve said in the past, that’s unfair to the third party.

The other woman.

What the fuck else is there?!

The circle block I the square hole.

Hoping someone comes along to save me from myself.

I hate this.