Wedding Ring

You would’ve stuck up your finger to show me your wedding ring if I was “turned all the way up” to see you giving a blowjob

Double Suicide Homicide

Voices say that you’d kill me and then kill yourself if we met up again.

They also said my buddy Tom was trying to kill me a few years ago, and I still hung out with him, and I’m still alive.

I can’t believe everything they say, but if that’s your end goal, and it’s all over from here, I’m not afraid of death.

Buck-A-Book

The night at the payphone they say you drove past me because you were on a date with someone else. Setup by the radio or whatever.

But I was at the payphone, so you went ape shit on them.

Feces Fellatio

Voices say they can make you poop and that time in New York when I stood you up from the floor you had feces in your mouth and were prepared to give me a blowjob with it in there.

And then you did that thing whirr you pretended to hang yourself with a noose as we avoided the police officer.

Voices are saying you’d always planned to commit suicide.

I can’t change the past.

I can’t go back in time to get that blowjob.

And don’t know what they expect me to do with this information.

EDIT:

And after you died you dad would impersonate you online on your accounts.

Edit:

Now they’re saying it was an acorn and the real poopoo was when you were in my house!

RAPE

This word keeps filtering through my head.

Would’ve raped it.

Raped on your wedding night.

Sex with other people you’d rather consider rape.

It goes on and on and on, the same word, scenarios, right after another.

I don’t want to rape you, I don’t want to rape anyone!

Consensual Sex, two people agreeing to pleasure one another, that’s the ideal, and I feel like I’ve said something along these lines in a fucking email, so why on god’s green earth am I hearing this, because I’m not deliberately thinking it!!!

God fucking dammit.

Specifically now, the morning in New York, when you asked me “would you ever want to do this again?”

and I responded “Hell Yeah.”

Then I apologized for saying it like that and you said "No, if you didn’t I wouldn’t know who you were” or something like that.

Yeah, I was erect, BUT I WOULDN’T RAPE YOU, I DIDN’T! Your back was turned to me, you were curled up, IN NO WAY WERE YOU ENGAGING IN SEXUAL BEHAVIOR!

THIS IS LIKE THE SECOND REAL LIFE SCENARIO WHERE I’M BRICKED UP AND READY TO FUCK AND YOU ARENT SO I DIDNT"

WHY AM I HEARING THIS SHIT

Eagle Sygnus

Voices are saying Eagle Sygnus, Persephone, Synes, is/was your daughter.

I know I confused her with Arvida Bystrom, and I still can’t tell what’s real from what isn’t, I’m just trying to do my goddamn job.

All in all here are some facts:

  1. I do NOT want to be in a relationship with her, or Arvida

  2. That’s all the facts

Home Town

Voices want me to believe you’re in Boston right now, just biding your time, waiting for everyone else to “get what they want/wanted.”

That if I go to Norway again, you’d just laugh.

I ain’t planning any trips anytime soon.

Not like the last time was planned, but this time, there’s way too much to lose.

So whether you’re in Boston or not, the ball is in your court.

If you want to see me, I know you’ll find a way to see me.

No more magic spells this time around.

Lake Murder and Jack

I met this guy a few years ago, his name was Jack.

Basically he’s an environmental scientist, and he told me that people periodically go around and check the levels of lakes and other bodies of fresh water.

That “Murder” scenario, on my blog, “Borderline_Humanity” yeah that’s totally unfeasible, someone would at some point, detect the higher levels of toxins essentially in the water and put two and two together.

Either way, it’s not like I was going to really try to do that. It was just a thought I had at that time.

I have yet to have written about murder scenarios since.

The more you know.

Edit:

You’d also leave a pretty big paper trail like how do you get your hands on industrial hydrochloric acid capable of dissolving human bones?

They don’t just sell that on Amazon lmao

Edit:

it’s also fucking retarded to just post online after you murder someone.

Just because I wrote about a dark idea isn’t evidence that I’d perform the task

Facebook

Voices say you’d cheat on me with everyone I’m friends with on Facebook. How about just not cheating tho? And what does Facebook have to do with anything? What makes that website so significant???

EDIT:

Voices are saying there’s a photo of you on Facebook a night when you cheated on me with all the friends you had on Facebook.

Then they delay the end of that statement “turned all the way up.”

I don’t get it, I almost uploaded the photos of you to this blog, as if I could ID which picture specifically, but I should respect your privacy, incase any prying eyes want to try a reverse image search.

Regardless… irregardless, this isn’t getting any easier.

Not much harder, but definitely not easier either.

Edit:

All the people that have uploaded a picture of you to Facebook are people you’d cheat on me with, okay.

Edit:

RuneScape is a shitty fucking game. Now I’m thinking about that article where you compared heroin to world of Warcraft and thinking about these dudes…

Trauma

It’s fucked up that they Weaponized normal signs of affection and romance on you so that you always have a visceral response to it.

Emigration

Voices say you’d rather be alone than to live with me in Dorchester.

But honestly if you have as much money as the voices say you have, you could move to anywhere in the world and support us.

Thats not ideal either, I know, and eventually I would try to find work so it’s not just your burden to bear.

Three Little Words

Voices say you’d never want me to say “I love you” for reasons.

So I won’t.

But I want the best for you.

I’ll say that instead.

In the snow

That restaurant near Central Park, when you went in and told me not to follow.

Voices say you gave someone a blowjob in their.

I thought you just had to take a shit.

I know “Kalfauni” wanted to go in after you but I convinced him to wait.

I remember you came out and you said you spit on someone’s plate.

Spit out their semen?

It doesn’t make sense.

I don’t know how I’m supposed to think of you.

Don’t get me wrong, I want to think you have common decency and you’re a respectable person.

But these fucking voices make you sound like a sex crazed, chaotic neutral maniac. And I’m at fault for missing out on your temporary pleasures…

what the fuck.

Steinar one ups me?

Voice say not only is Steinar evil, he’s trying to out do me…. In some capacity, mostly sexual…

If he REALLY wanted to out do me he’d join the “no fap” challenge for longer than 3 months.

But also they say he cut his phallus off…

Remember the dinners?

When you were in the green dress and we went with people from my job At the time to the Vietnamese restaurant?

Voices are saying you were masturbating at the table, that you wanted me to bend you over the table and fuck you.

Then they say the consequence of that is that I’d have to come out of the closet and you’d kill yourself.

They also say “that was someone else”

But even at my high school graduation dinner with my family you were about to do something weird with the utensils.

Idk.

It’s not true

Voices say there are all these people telling you, or saying that they love me, but it’s not true.

I’m being ignored and avoided.

I’m being sabotaged from moving on to a new relationship.

I’m being harassed or stalked by these same individuals.

How is that love?

Shouldn’t I be sharing drinks and laughs with them instead?

Having parties?

Going to see new experiences?

It’s all lies.

“Everything I say is the opposite” and other childish games of that nature.

I’m not out of reach, all of my social media is public, if they wanted to reach me, they could, they still can, I’ll pick it back up like it was nothing, but until that happens, it’s all lies.

Fuck what you heard.

Mary

Voices are saying you wasted a ton of money going “all out” in Boston, but the person these disembodied voices wanted to be with/have sex with is my ex, Mary.

She’s blocked me on all platforms as well, but I try to avoid her, out of courtesy.

Edit:

Okay now the voices are saying she had sex with 4 people in my bed, behind my back, without my permission I guess.

And that was such a fucking long time ago, even before you, and I said to her “I’m not gonna make the same mistake” when we broke up and the voices say she’s still hung up on those words as well.

Again, I’m blocked by her on socials, so it’s not like I can confront her, I would do that if I could, but I did see her on the dating app “Hinge” a while back, which is why I don’t have a profile on that app.

Edit 2:

Now they’re saying she was raped! I remember the day I gave her the house keys and she didn’t want to go to class, she was with another girl but holy cow why the revelation right now????