Global Time Zones

I’m putting a clock for Norway back on my phone.

Voices keep saying you’re getting raped by your “father” turned all the way up but this shit isn’t making any sense to me. So I’m adding a clock and some timezones again so I can verify what time it is.

If you people are sleeping in anyway like me, sure I might believe it, but I also think its important to prioritize sleep, I don’t care how “turned up” you are and or would be.

Edit: voices say you can use the Thu’um, nice.

Aussie Aussie

Voices keep saying that that was you on the train that I called Australian. That you did want to stay in Australia, that you did Krokodil.

Voices are making some point about your degenerative bone disorder, that you’re living for a “good” not a long time.

I’m not trying to convince you of anything or get in your way, I just want this to stop.

Even if I talked to you on the train the voices say you’d be unintelligible or something. Or maybe mute, idk, I don’t want to dwell on it, I want to move forward on this path I’m carving for myself.

Edit: Once again, they say you have herpes.

Edit: I’m not going back to update older posts. Voices saying they turned the plane around cause you gave a blowjob in the plane bathroom or whatever.

Edit: Okay, the plane blowjob wasn’t you, it was someone else. I’m just writing what I hear and I’m not waiting long enough for them to reveal who it truly is…

Hypothetical

Voices are saying if we were together and were social in my terrible 20’s you’d have been raped, constantly.

But if we were together in my terrible 20’s I doubt I’d have the same lived experiences, at all.

Edit: Voices say you just shit me out, and something about buying a plane ticket and leaving your family in Argentina to come back to Boston… something is off tho… something feels off about that last part.

Edit: You spit shit at the dudes that asked you for sex for your laptop the voices say, nice lol

And I asked my aunt about what happened that morning. She said you helped her make breakfast for us. I just have to trust her word at that and not let the voices completely take me over. It’s just so distressing, and disturbing. More so because it challenges my good memories. I would love to just remember the good times we had, without all of these extra feelings of betrayal and infidelity.

Edit: Voices are saying you wanted Aaron Wall but when you met him He pulled a gun out on you. Thats why you did whatever you did with him.

Edit: Voices are saying that I know I have good memories of us, and you don’t like me because I don’t bring those memories up often enough to I guess, counter the voices. But I think I’ve said this before as well: I don’t want to live in the past.

I wanted to marry you, that didn’t work.

I tried to move on, somehow it didn’t work.

I’m at a standstill on my island where the only inhabitant is me.

Deep Trauma

Voices keep telling me like, your deepest traumas and it’s not in my interest to make you read (if you are reading this) and or relive that, so I’m not gonna type it out this time.

Edit: There’s just so much death and rape and mistaken identity and suicide flooding my mind

Edit: Fuck it, the deep trauma is in reference to why you’re an exhibitionist, or were one, but I posed naked for drawing classes and some “supportive” voices say we’re one in the same.

But NOW they’re saying at the hostel your “father” would’ve shot at Howard, then Odin, the “Solange” and tried to pin the blame on me? You’d give me the gun, my prints would be on it, then you’d kill yourself, and yet somehow this is also being described as “playful.”

Edit: Voices are bringing it back to the hostel in Boston. Saying you went on 7 dates with 7 people after I dropped you off and left. That’s what you meant when you said you’d “seen it before” at the Shepard Fairey exhibit at the ICA, but I’ve said that last part already.

Edit: Hostel In Boston again, had to fuck someone to get the laptop back the voices say.

Sex with 12 ppl on Rus

Voices say you want me to know now, but I know I’ve already explained my feelings about this.

Beyond that, many of these scenarios are being described as “rape” or at least one party is non-consenting, which is worrisome, honestly.

Like I’m sure I’ve said before, we were young dumb and full of cum.

I’ll just leave it at that.

Edit: Voices say you do not want me to be “understanding.”

too fucking bad.

I’ve gone through my “hoe phase” as well. And sure, it was after you, but don’t Americans do things later than Europeans anyway? Weren’t you drinking around 18 or earlier? I started at 21. There were some white kids drinking and we called them white trash at 14 and 15 here in the states but they weren’t my crew.

And I always romanticized growing up in some small town where you fuck for fun, but I’m a city kid and a fucking outcast considering all these people in my fucking head that “love me” but are too damn afraid to reach out and talk to me.

Cant confirm any of this stupid shit with fucking anyone.

So what the fuck ever.

I have to try and figure this shit out, to understand something, cause if not I’ll just be some pent up ball of frustration trying to find my next victim in whatever context you can imagine, cause I know you must be thinking some things of me too.

Insomnia again

Voices are saying a lot.

Saying that I’m next to some girl in a cyan sweater and a white mini skirt that’s someone I don’t want to know about.

Repeating things

That you got fucked on a moped in the DR, put a helmet on your head and the helmet is yellow.

Edit:

The voices tell me you were never serious about our relationship, in any part of the world, but if that’s the case why did I even meet up with you? Why not just get trolled at south station? Why bother with New York at all?

It’s these conflicting themes that cause me the most stress, suffering.

Edit: voices say you never want to see me again

The helmet was a condom?

Great.

Edit: arse fukt on moped

If they didn’t turn you up you wouldn’t have gotten on the bus to Boston

Cool

C4

You would pretend to set charge live explosives in the room and then sit on Howard’s lap and play a game? But what happens if you run out of time? You both die in the explosion? Voices are just saying this is how “playful” you can be. Hard to imagine.

Edit: voices say this was your wedding night, you were turned all the way up and Howard was intimidated but me? I’d get an erection, the voices say.

Point Blank

Voices say you just shot your dad in the head.

where the brain is not the one you give brain to.

Edit: and the voices say you’re going to jail for a long time.

“Family”

Voices just told me not to write on this blog because I’m a part of some “family” and to that I ask, which family specifically, in what context and how does that relate to you?

They say Howard has to turn all the way up his to speak English.

Worlds are colliding.

Romeo and Juliet

The killers song on xanga. Voices say if you stayed you would’ve killed yourself and then they would’ve “turned me all the way up” to see if I’d follow suit and kill myself as well, just for “Black Metal”

Over and Over Again

Edit: Why am I hearing things only someone else should know then? Voices say you cucked your husband. He walked in on you having sex with someone else. But wasn’t he also cheating on you when he went to the bars? Why am I hearing all of this… how does this pertain to me?

Edit: Now they say it’s the opposite, and your husband was fucking someone else. OKAY.

Norwegians Access Internet Code

Voices say you’re in a relationship with whomever accessed a saved tweet on google image search under my name that had your full name in it. How that’s possible, I have no idea.

Edit: Voices say I won’t see you unless I move out of the city of Boston… well I guess I’m not going to see you for a while then…

Playing the Drums on your Corpse

Voices say that was the inspiration for Howards “Black Metal” he wanted to play the drums on your dead body.

What was he gonna skin you and stretch your skin into drums?

Horrible.

Edit: He wanted to make a drum set out of his entire family. Disturbing.

Snowballed him

To put the gun away you gave Steinar a snowball

you know what that is from the urban dictionary definition I shared so long ago

ew

ew ew ew ew ew

Edit:

Voices say when the prime minister turned you all the way up you raped a child.