I don’t know why but the voices keep talking about consuming, eating feces, shit, fecal matter.
That you would’ve “eaten shit” to stay in Boston or whatever.
I remember the day at the hostel when you told me you ate shit and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
But along with this message they also say you’d have never taken my last name in marriage. Not necessarily saying we would never get married but that you’d “never be a Fairclough.”
And finally, they say “that’s why you wouldn’t want to sell me out.”
When I posted about NMPlol and Malena, I heard her voice in my head saying “Who sold me out?” And like, two weeks later, a 10 or 15 year marriage they had with one another was over and they’re in the process of divorce.
It’s strange, completely egotistical to think that that’s because of me, because some authority in Norway saw that and decided to “call her back home” or some shit and it was my fault that it happened but the timing of it all really made it feel like that.
I don’t know how their relationship was, but I do know he was a millionaire, and even that didn’t make her want to stick around, which, in all honesty seems fairly common nowadays. Having money in some respects is having security but that’s not enough to decided to weather the trials and tribulations.
Anyway.