Voices keep saying you’d pretend to be other people that are “turned up” and claim they love me, instead of being yourself, because either you’d be suicidal or someone from your part of the world wants you to be someone else.
It never works out, and they keep saying what you’d rather be doing.
You’d rather be in the Dominican Republic.
You hate that you’re in Boston (if you’re in Boston???)
You have to take care of your child.
All these things and more.
I’m a broken record, you know what I’m going to say next, so I won’t say it.
I just, don’t want to hear it anymore. Does that make sense?
I want to be alone in my head like I was in the past, why does that feel like it’s impossible now?
I don’t want to hurt anyone.
I’m not begging or being desperate to be loved.
I feel so done with all this, and yet, words pour out.
Emotions build up.
Action is taken.
And while it all seems futile, I hope that in someway it helps.
Me
You
Anyone else that might be reading this.
I hope it helps.