When I think of you, sometimes in and sometimes out of psychosis, I get happy.
You were really someone I truly adored, and I am so disheartened that you have to chosen to be out of my life.
The voices today were saying a lot of things. About cheating on Howard, saying being near him gives you a rash, and that you’d rather have been unfaithful to him than to me, like you were put up to this as if it were some sort of challenge.
I don’t know. I know I would’ve preferred to be in a relationship with you, but if what the voices are saying is true all of this, extra nonsense would’ve colored you differently in my mind, and maybe I’d beat myself up for the rest of my life for ever loving you if it did happen to me, but I don’t know. That’s some alternate reality that only exists in movies.