Voices keep calling you a lesbian.
From what I know, then why did you marry a man and have a child?
Not to discount people that “come out” after they realize the nuclear family isn’t for them, you just strike me as a person that, either knew yourself and what you wanted to do well enough to know yourself were a lesbian, and avoid marrying a man altogether.
Of course, as you are that person that does exactly what you set out to do, maybe marrying Howard and trying to have a life with him was your “final test” at heteronormativity before you became completely sure that you play for the other team.
And I have to make a note of the fact that I am simply hallucinating, and none of what the voices say is necessarily true.
However I think back to the time when you were in Boston and you went to the gay pride parade.
All these things and more.