Inn in NY

Voices are talking about the time I met your “family” again.

Something about you giving your dad a blowjob before we walked out of the room.

From what I recall, I turned around for a second to see a Chinese food box, and what did he do? Open it from the bottom and stick his cock inside of it?

I also saw you brush your teeth and spit.

And, these thoughts are fucking disturbing my guy, what the fuck do I do about this? Talking about it doesn’t make it stop.

They also say Howard would’ve stabbed me if I turned all the way around to ask what was taking so long.

Idk.

Something about you being fake as fuck in Boston, wanted to date the root beer boy and act like and ape and kill yourself instead of me.

Where do I go from here, honestly.

I’m just putting one foot in front of the other.

Opioids

Voices say because I’m the inspiration you have to do as I do, which would explain when they say “you don’t want to know more.”

So I guess I shouldn’t say anything else, for your benefit, but it’s hard living for two people.

Newsflash

Apparently you’re in a cult

And you signed a contract with an NDA (non-disclosure agreement) barring you from saying anything to me

Moar Voices

They say: “She won’t stay sentient, she’ll become whatever you want her to!”

and I think “my wife, my life partner”

I don’t remember much of the last few moments, I’ve been letting it fade in and out.

Something about my medication being opiates, being one of the first things I Was prescribed and eventually fell back to.

That I would’ve been raped had I kept taking Ativan, Gordon, Cogentin and Prolixin by that lady at the group therapy class.

All these old moments and memories, flashing in and out.

3 Weeks of Overnight

If the voices weren’t enough I’m seeing you everywhere again.

I feel like I’m devolving back to the time when I would chase after women that had slightly similar features.

It’s bad, but not that bad, at least not yet.

I’ve been losing sleep.

I’ve been ignoring signs from other women, so say the voices.

I honestly don’t know what to do about this, I just write and write and write and write, hoping it will absolve me of my issues but lo’and behold, I’m right back to loving you.

It feels empty however, this time.

Yes I know the emotions are there but there’s no one to accept it.

Just the void.

This white background void.

Revenge of the E-mail(s)

Voices are talking about the time some guy at the hostel took your laptop, and you “would have” given him a blowjob to get it back.

They’re also saying “that’s not all” and you had sex with someone or something like that.

I know we discussed something along these lines on again, MSN Messenger that night or the night after but my memory is hazy.

I’m not holding it against you. (The only thing I want to hold against you is this dick 🥴)

I get it, I understand, whatever, I can’t change the past.

Hold it firmly wherever it is in your chest, prove to me you love me back

blah blah blah.

I don’t have the words anymore for infidelity, I’m just so emotionally drained.

EDIT:

voices say he ejaculated on your feet

Come as you are vs Barbie Girl

Voices say at the hostel, no one took the initiative to reach up while you straddled them.

You got a breast reduction, but before we’d get back together you’d get a boob job again, to be more like a pornstar, the voices say.

I’m the book “Come as You Are” by Emily Nagoaki

But you sound like “Barbie Girl” by AQUA, the song, right now.

Suck Off

He who shall not be named and A.W. Root Beer, radio jelk’n to you and J.P. licks sucking them off through straws over a radio???

And now you can “be with a celebrity”

Second Child

You’ll get pregnant with A.W. Root Beers kid, because apparently I’m “on my way up” and you can’t be with a celebrity, so you’ll have his child and I assume give it up for adoption in Norway.

And you’ll get herpes.

U luv me but

You do not want me to know every little detail

About you.

I don’t recall asking for every little detail.

Destiny

Voices are saying we get back together and you’re gonna murder me in my sleep and become suicidal.

So be it.