Can’t flush

Voices are saying had you stayed with me you’d have been a “Giant Piece of Crap” one so large that you wouldn’t be able to simply flush it down the toilet.

This all again with the “Daikon” (turn up) power and technology.

Shota

Voices keep saying you raped Odin on multiple occasions, being influenced by he who shall Not be named’s mother.

Shota is a category of Japanese hentai, referring to the molestation of young boys.

They’re also saying that night I got black out and left only down the street from my house, earth style Odwalla stole My cellphone and called you.

I was missing my vest as well from that night, but I’ve been saying for the last few weeks now “with friends like these who needs enemies.”

ASAP

Voices saying you “had sex” as soon as you got back to Norway.

Other things as well but I didn’t wait long enough to hear it.

Time Travel

Can’t go back in time.

What are you going to do?

Possess a child?

And what if those changes affect the future you have now?

Foolish.

Weed Weed

Voices in my head are talking about the weed I found that doesn’t give paranoia or anxiety.

Idk why, but I did just smoke it, twice today.

Normally (when I’m not drunk) it just puts me to sleep, but shit shit is Chris Brown now so I’m not certain it’s still potent, although I kept it in its bag.

The only way to find out is to just get more, if that’s even possible.

I check strains for anti-paranoia and anxiety on Leafly.com

And then I check what Strains are listed at local dispensaries.

I don’t know why I’m telling you this, or at least writing this here, thinking you’ll read it, all I know is that that is what I do and that’s what I’m doing, I guess.

Adventure Time

I can explain the cacophony of emotions I’m feeling and simultaneously trying to ignore.

Words, memories, feelings are constantly flooding my mind and I’m uncertain that a portion of them are even my own.

The show “Adventure Time” is playing in the background as I type, hence the title.

You could call it my “comfort show” but I’d also like to own “Regular Show” as well.

It’s hard to focus.

It’s hard to think.

I talk to myself.

I find my breathing irregular.

What can I do to alleviate my symptoms?

What I want the most is to talk to you, but for whatever reason that’s and impossibility.

So what?

Pursue other women while you occupy 75% or more of my mind?

Like I’ve said in the past, that’s unfair to the third party.

The other woman.

What the fuck else is there?!

The circle block I the square hole.

Hoping someone comes along to save me from myself.

I hate this.

Kids Across America

So the last day of the camp the voices say you gave people handjobs at the pool.

And the first day of the camp you were being raped by some radio man and someone left the girls cabin to tell me to say your name.

My memory of this time is hazy, and this is really hard to believe.

All I know is I couldn’t go into the pool on doctors orders, I had a toe infection so I watched on the hill by the shore.

Still, I was blogging on xanga (Authentic_Black_Dragon) long before this trip.

It doesn’t add up.

It’s like this life, meeting you, was all planned to begin with, by the church, and I’m not certain I want to believe that.

Pussy Whipped

I’ll unfollow the heauxs on social media if you’re gonna be with me for the rest of my life, that’s no problem.

But I’m not going to listen to disembodied voices telling me false promises first to get me to do it, fuck no.

I’m out here loving these women, you ain’t around, you don’t matter.

At least not right now.

More Sexual Violence

Voices are saying you were raped every night when you were in Boston.

We were broken up so I wouldn’t construe it as you cheating on me, they say.

This is Steinar level, they say.

I don’t know what to do with this information.

Edit:

Now they’re saying it was the other girl, and it was consensual.

Make it make sense. Please.

Inn in NY

Voices are talking about the time I met your “family” again.

Something about you giving your dad a blowjob before we walked out of the room.

From what I recall, I turned around for a second to see a Chinese food box, and what did he do? Open it from the bottom and stick his cock inside of it?

I also saw you brush your teeth and spit.

And, these thoughts are fucking disturbing my guy, what the fuck do I do about this? Talking about it doesn’t make it stop.

They also say Howard would’ve stabbed me if I turned all the way around to ask what was taking so long.

Idk.

Something about you being fake as fuck in Boston, wanted to date the root beer boy and act like and ape and kill yourself instead of me.

Where do I go from here, honestly.

I’m just putting one foot in front of the other.

Opioids

Voices say because I’m the inspiration you have to do as I do, which would explain when they say “you don’t want to know more.”

So I guess I shouldn’t say anything else, for your benefit, but it’s hard living for two people.

Newsflash

Apparently you’re in a cult

And you signed a contract with an NDA (non-disclosure agreement) barring you from saying anything to me