NY or BSTN

Blowjobs at the hostel.

I really don’t want to think about this shit for the rest of the fucking night.

Edit:

Cause if you didn’t give him a blowjob you would’ve been raped. Amazing how mankind can be so fucking ugly.

Chinese Food: The Photo

Voices say you or your mom would’ve blown me in the restaurant.

You stood in front of me, playing defense I guess.

My memory is hazy, but I know that at least.

Really?

Everyone with your name in Norway would be sexually assaulted just because I dedicated the book to you? REALLY?!

Janitor

1010 Mass Ave

You had your book

The janitor came in and apparently ejaculated in your cup

Great

Super

Edit:

Voices say you swallowed it and that’s why H-Bomb 2.0 said “nice necklace” cause some of it spilled out onto you.

Edit:

Now they’re saying you pissed in the cup and the janitor drank it. Amazing.

Edit:

okay so you had your back against the wall, and behind the table, not much space to move, and the voices say that was a prime opportunity to be raped

God.

Edit:

now I remember we weren’t “technically” dating at the time but I honestly don’t fucking care about our label. You were with me, it somehow, still hurts/annoys me, that I hear this, that I feel this

Edit:

Voices say Janitor did end up raping someone after, but you felt it (?) because you were being “turned all the way up”

Edit:

Voices say he had a gun.

Edit:

He spit on you. That was the pearl necklace, voices are showing me.

Edit:

Nope, he didn’t spit, you actually gave him the blowjob.

Voices are calling you an idiot.

Edit:

He was “paying you” with the candy bar.

Edit:

Okay but the other option was if you came into the room the people there would’ve groped you under the table.

Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

I guess the blowjob was the lesser evil.

Voices, like that’s new

Voices keep saying your dad was “The Devil” and r-worded you.

Thats why you are the way you are, forgetting/killing yourself over and over to escape, idek.

IDK

I know what I’d do.

But I don’t know how I feel.

I know what I wouldn’t do, or what I should avoid, but it seems alien, to my feelings.

Wedding Ring

You would’ve stuck up your finger to show me your wedding ring if I was “turned all the way up” to see you giving a blowjob

Double Suicide Homicide

Voices say that you’d kill me and then kill yourself if we met up again.

They also said my buddy Tom was trying to kill me a few years ago, and I still hung out with him, and I’m still alive.

I can’t believe everything they say, but if that’s your end goal, and it’s all over from here, I’m not afraid of death.

Buck-A-Book

The night at the payphone they say you drove past me because you were on a date with someone else. Setup by the radio or whatever.

But I was at the payphone, so you went ape shit on them.

Feces Fellatio

Voices say they can make you poop and that time in New York when I stood you up from the floor you had feces in your mouth and were prepared to give me a blowjob with it in there.

And then you did that thing whirr you pretended to hang yourself with a noose as we avoided the police officer.

Voices are saying you’d always planned to commit suicide.

I can’t change the past.

I can’t go back in time to get that blowjob.

And don’t know what they expect me to do with this information.

EDIT:

And after you died you dad would impersonate you online on your accounts.

Edit:

Now they’re saying it was an acorn and the real poopoo was when you were in my house!

RAPE

This word keeps filtering through my head.

Would’ve raped it.

Raped on your wedding night.

Sex with other people you’d rather consider rape.

It goes on and on and on, the same word, scenarios, right after another.

I don’t want to rape you, I don’t want to rape anyone!

Consensual Sex, two people agreeing to pleasure one another, that’s the ideal, and I feel like I’ve said something along these lines in a fucking email, so why on god’s green earth am I hearing this, because I’m not deliberately thinking it!!!

God fucking dammit.

Specifically now, the morning in New York, when you asked me “would you ever want to do this again?”

and I responded “Hell Yeah.”

Then I apologized for saying it like that and you said "No, if you didn’t I wouldn’t know who you were” or something like that.

Yeah, I was erect, BUT I WOULDN’T RAPE YOU, I DIDN’T! Your back was turned to me, you were curled up, IN NO WAY WERE YOU ENGAGING IN SEXUAL BEHAVIOR!

THIS IS LIKE THE SECOND REAL LIFE SCENARIO WHERE I’M BRICKED UP AND READY TO FUCK AND YOU ARENT SO I DIDNT"

WHY AM I HEARING THIS SHIT

Eagle Sygnus

Voices are saying Eagle Sygnus, Persephone, Synes, is/was your daughter.

I know I confused her with Arvida Bystrom, and I still can’t tell what’s real from what isn’t, I’m just trying to do my goddamn job.

All in all here are some facts:

  1. I do NOT want to be in a relationship with her, or Arvida

  2. That’s all the facts

Home Town

Voices want me to believe you’re in Boston right now, just biding your time, waiting for everyone else to “get what they want/wanted.”

That if I go to Norway again, you’d just laugh.

I ain’t planning any trips anytime soon.

Not like the last time was planned, but this time, there’s way too much to lose.

So whether you’re in Boston or not, the ball is in your court.

If you want to see me, I know you’ll find a way to see me.

No more magic spells this time around.

Lake Murder and Jack

I met this guy a few years ago, his name was Jack.

Basically he’s an environmental scientist, and he told me that people periodically go around and check the levels of lakes and other bodies of fresh water.

That “Murder” scenario, on my blog, “Borderline_Humanity” yeah that’s totally unfeasible, someone would at some point, detect the higher levels of toxins essentially in the water and put two and two together.

Either way, it’s not like I was going to really try to do that. It was just a thought I had at that time.

I have yet to have written about murder scenarios since.

The more you know.

Edit:

You’d also leave a pretty big paper trail like how do you get your hands on industrial hydrochloric acid capable of dissolving human bones?

They don’t just sell that on Amazon lmao

Edit:

it’s also fucking retarded to just post online after you murder someone.

Just because I wrote about a dark idea isn’t evidence that I’d perform the task

Facebook

Voices say you’d cheat on me with everyone I’m friends with on Facebook. How about just not cheating tho? And what does Facebook have to do with anything? What makes that website so significant???

EDIT:

Voices are saying there’s a photo of you on Facebook a night when you cheated on me with all the friends you had on Facebook.

Then they delay the end of that statement “turned all the way up.”

I don’t get it, I almost uploaded the photos of you to this blog, as if I could ID which picture specifically, but I should respect your privacy, incase any prying eyes want to try a reverse image search.

Regardless… irregardless, this isn’t getting any easier.

Not much harder, but definitely not easier either.

Edit:

All the people that have uploaded a picture of you to Facebook are people you’d cheat on me with, okay.

Edit:

RuneScape is a shitty fucking game. Now I’m thinking about that article where you compared heroin to world of Warcraft and thinking about these dudes…