You were 28

When you decided you never wanted to come back to Boston.

A.W. Root Beer turned me all the way up and you saw me having sex with someone, so you decided to make me throw up, but the sex continued.

I remember what I ate that night, it was a small portion of House Fried Rice from Yuen BBQ down the street, and I had like a fifth of Jack Daniel’s so my stomach was already on a rocky road.

Then I had a few beers and some shots at the house party, I was pretty far gone, but that was still a good night. For me at least.

More Bullshit

Voices say you wish I wasn’t a Japanese American

That you don’t know how to be yourself

That you would’ve learned how to be yourself if you stayed

Among other things

Not certain I want to keep writing this shit out but I kinda need to, as I don’t want to dwell on it

edit:

And you don’t want to be a woman because you’d be “closed for business”

But how long can you be a girl? Not a toddler I mean but the body doesn’t age like the mind. Idk where I’m going with this, I’ve been 19 for the last 17 years…

Bone Zone Act 1

Voices say you were getting railed while typing to me on MSN. Don’t know which country, I assume DR or Mexico?

Humiliation Ritual

Tied your hands together stuffed dildos in you and made you slide through a wooden box/dresser?

For what?

And what was that spray???

edit:

And 4 people penetrating you

Edit:

Perform the Jack-O pose to escape your confines

Bumps

Hostel or Trap House, voices are mixing people around.

I remember the night I passed on a bump.

I remember.

Location Unknown

Don’t know if this is in the DR or a Hostel in the states but buck naked some guy beats it up long dick style and idk the rest it got hazy

Edit:

Thor (Shin Megami Tensei) is “protecting” Victoria Secret… Owl girl

Honeymoon

Voices are telling me my current insomnia is going to be our days and nights and I’ll die of exhaustion…

Janitor 2.0

Voices say they’re trying to trap me in a spiral.

Whether you sucked this guys cock with your lips on his glans and shaft or only through a straw, it’s in the past now, and I can’t do anything but feel a little bad about it.

Like what am I supposed to do with this information? Really? How do I move forward with it?

Is it not best that I just forget the day even happened?

Why be hung up on it at all?

And that’s why we hate-

Exhibitionists

Had sex with all 8 people the day you wore the green dress

Nokia in cooter

Calling you

That’s why you were feeling yourself at the dinner table

Edit:

you also threw up on someone that day

Nokia up arse

That same day

Golden glow

Yada yada

Blah blah

Edit:

Jizz on phone

Dropped out of college cause you can’t keep up

Someone else

Doesn’t want me to remember

You don’t remember

Edit:

I’ve disappointed my elementary school teachers (opposite)

Rant

I don’t know how I’m supposed to love you, how I’m supposed to trust again.

This goes beyond you, as at present I feel as if I’d be more comfortable being alone with my thoughts and the ebb and flow of my feelings.

I’m hearing, seeing, experiencing all of these conflicts inside and yet somehow, outside of myself.

Angst isn’t a strong enough word to describe the internal turmoil.

And I love the word angst, it’s a good word.

Anyway, this is more for me than it is for you, I just think right now it’s unfair to claim I love anyone, given all that I’ve said and done.

And yeah, no relationship can stay in the honeymoon/puppy love phase forever, but I wish I could’ve reeled in my insanity sooner.

I wish I wasn’t so impulsive.

I wish I was never arrested.

But I don’t think it would’ve been any better had I “surprised” you with a visit.

For your safety you deserved to know.

If we were on good terms and I was regularly visiting you would know.

But here come the voices, droning on and on about how the world is “turned up” and who you’d cheat on me with.

How everything I’ve been taught to know and love is a lie.

How I’m the “slow” one, the Gleeborp…

Fuck this.

Not you talking

Voices say it’s not you talking or putting these thoughts in my head but instead I’m responding to people in Boston…

Possession

You want to be anyone that loves me so you can possess them, make them take a crap and try to force me to eat it. Okay.

Odin’s Nokia

His wish is to get the family back together, but why? It feels like there’s an ulterior motive to this…

My Blue Phone

Voices say you took it out of my pocket and shoved it up your cooter cause that’s what Steinar wanted and gave it to the other kids that were at the top of the commons with us?

Edit:

And you blew a kiss at them….